Hey everybody, thanks so much for joining me today. It is a beautiful Sunday. I know uh we are still in the midst of this COVID crisis, and I'm hoping to not only do some videos, which you can catch on all of my other social media platforms, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram. Uh it's always slash Poema Coaching or slash Poema Women's Coaching. But I'm hoping to also provide these small snippets and podcasts so you can listen to these wherever you are. So today, beautiful Sunday, uh, keeping myself and my family on track, uh, we are rooted in our faith. It's it's key for us. So today we cozied up in our nooks of the couch and the boys were in the rooms on their iPads and we prepared to listen into church. So before I go any further, I do want to say if you don't prescribe to a faith, I do want to enjoy uh to invite you to join me and my church family. It is North Point Ministries here in Atlanta, led by Andy Stanley. And if it's not your thing, if it's not your thing, that's okay. And I hope that you continue to listen with me. Um, I do want to share though that this is this is what's keeping me rooted during this crisis. And it's something that I turn to. So I will share a lot of that in our time together. So during this time, during this crisis, uh, leadership is key. Not only am I hearing this from my pastor, but I'm hearing it on all the platforms that now is the time to lead in our organizations, in our businesses, and in our homes. So today, after church service, I of course cracked that proverbial whip and I gave orders to begin our deep clean. We were gonna bleach all the surfaces and do everything we could to keep each other safe. And as I was telling my husband the plan for the day, he stopped me and he said, you know, um, it would be nice if you asked me what our plan for the day was rather than bark orders at me. My response to him was, I'm not. This is what we do every weekend. This isn't any different. And I saw it. I saw this look spread over his face and it quickly disappeared. And honestly, that was a gift he was giving me. He was putting aside his feelings and how I made him feel for the sake of avoiding an argument. And that's honestly, truly when it dawned on me. I'm not leading my family through formalized schedules and cleaning through this pandemic, but I am, but not entirely, right? The most important and most deeply meaningful, meaningful way I can lead my family, my friends, my clients is I need to be truly listening. And I think this is key. This is absolutely key for leaders in the middle of this crisis. And all of us, all of us are leading someone in our lives. Regardless, if you're sitting at home right now and you're feeling very alone, people are watching you. Maybe you don't feel like you're a, you know, leader, this defined ideal that you have in your head, but you are called to lead your life. So here's the interesting thing that dawned on me today, and maybe this is something that you're running into yourself, is that the closer we are to individuals in our life, and listen to me on this one, the closer that we are to individuals in our life, the more likely we are not to listen carefully to them. This is called the closeness communication bias. Say that three times fast. The closeness communication bias. So, really, what it means is automatically we assume that we know what that person is thinking, the people that we're closest to. So we really truly don't take the time to listen to them and we rush through conversations. So, for example, have you ever had a situation where you're speaking to your partner, your partner's speaking, or whatever, and you're just kind of not engaged in the conversation. You say, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear what you're saying, I'll do XYZ. And they look at you and they go, I wasn't even gonna say that. That's this closeness communication bias. Um, you know, another uh thing that you could be doing as a leader is you could be caught up in this crisis and wondering, how am I going to make these things? How am I gonna help these employees? How am I gonna help these families, these people that work for me and their families, and you have just a barrage of thoughts going through your mind, and you might be in a conversation with someone, and because you're just feeling overwhelmed, you kind of rush through the conversation and you're assuming whoever is speaking to you, what you're assuming what they're saying, and you could be completely wrong. So this hit me square in the eyes today, between the eyes today with my husband and I's conversation, that my closeness communication bias was really truly standing in the way of me leading my family, my friends, and my clients, especially during this time, especially during this time, because we are all bogged down with stressors and anxieties and fears. And how do we manage these things? And here's the other thing, too. Although we are so blessed to have technology right now in the middle of this COVID crisis, and it does somewhat bring us together, the feeling of loneliness is also going to be very, very apparent, especially if we're not taking in the time to listen. Psychologically speaking, we are all going to change during COVID. Psychologically speaking, this is going to have damaging effects on who we are today, how we cope for tomorrow, and how we see our future. But here's the thing it can also grow us and strengthen us and create greater resilience. So, knowing all of this, knowing all of this, knowing that my closeness communication bias kicked in, and then hearing from my pastor today on how very important it is that we are leaders, that it's not just about leading from the front. In fact, we should be leading from the back. And one of the greatest gifts we can give as a leader is to truly listen. Yes, to you know, give yourself of yourself and your resources to those that don't have those resources and maybe they don't have the ability or the options that you do. That is a wonderful way to show leadership. But you can truly show leadership and love by listening. So, yes, continue to give to your communities right now. Yes, continue to you know give your staff a raise and paid time off or whatever resources they need. But let me ask you this. What if during this season that we're all in, what if you could give of a resource that you have? It costs you nothing financially, nothing monetarily. It just simply costs you a little extra time. Every single one of us, every single one of us can give this, regardless of our rank in life. And that's the gift of truly listening, especially as we are cooped up in our homes with our families, and the kids are gonna drive us nuts, and we have all these crazy conference calls. We are going to have this closeness, communication bias really kicking in. So being aware. So today, I want to challenge you. Ask someone, how are you? And listen, don't assume you know. Don't assume that you know this person so well that they're gonna tell you exactly what you think they're gonna say. Don't assume that you know what your partner needs, your husband needs, or your child is feeling. Don't assume that your employees know that you're leading them. Don't assume, much like myself, that schedules and giving everybody this, you know, regimented schedule is gonna give them peace. Don't assume because you're the leader of an organization, the others are truly following you. You can give the gift of listening. It's something that we can all do right now to help everybody through this COVID crisis. So that's today. I hope that this Sunday, this is finding you well, and that you think about this while you're spending time with those in your home and you move into your week with new, you know, a job online and conferences on Zoom and all this craziness that you've never had to manage before. Really, really consider and keep note of that closeness, communication, bias. It can get in the way of relationships that are so key right now. So take a beat and truly listen to those in your life. Thanks so much for joining me today. I am Piper Harris with Poema Women's Success Coaching. I hope this finds you well, and I'll talk to you soon.