Hey there and welcome to Piper Harris Coaching, a podcast where I share how you can embrace your poema, your masterfully created purpose. Poema is a foundational anchor that defines your character, directs your decisions, supports your growth, provides protection and healing, engages resilience, and serves those in your lives. Harnessing your uniquely created poema and putting it into action is necessary for healing, actualizing goals, and living a full and content life. We will dive into topics surrounding positive psychology, shifting your mindset, and how to overcome behaviors that are holding you hostage. My name is Piper Harris, and I use my 20 years of experience as a mental health counselor, coach, business owner, mother, and wife and dig into deep and complex issues that you are facing and empower you to overcome and harness the courage to chase after your best life. Thanks for joining us today, and welcome to Piper Harris Coaching Podcast. Wonderful to have you with me today. Welcome to Piper Harris Coaching, and I am Piper. So today we are talking about depression. Are you talking about it or are you acting toward it? So many times my clients come to me and predominantly they're suffering from depression or anxiety. So a lot of times I'll assess that. There's some great assessment tools that are available online. Um and I'll share those a little bit later today with you. Um, just to get a good feeling of where they at, where they're at. Um, and when it comes to depression, I think a lot of times my clients struggle with is it sadness or is it depression? And there's there's levels of depression. But the biggest thing that I think I see with my clients, whether it's you know, dealing with depression or anxiety, is that either of those, those symptoms, those issues, lead to this feeling of hopelessness and they just can't move forward. And again, this is more predominantly seen in depression, but the problem is so many times my clients come to me and they want to talk about it. Now, you all know my approach. I've shared this with you. I am an action taker, and so that's why I so, so, so love cognitive behavioral therapy techniques because it is really about action. It really is about me guiding and educating my clients into their health. They they get there. I'm just simply walking along with them, and we use techniques and tools that require action. So, again, so many times my clients come to me and I explain these things to them. I have a program set for them, and a lot of times they don't do it. A lot of times they don't want to do the homework in between sessions. A lot of times um they don't want to um engage in really the client or excuse me, the session format, um, which I share with them when they do their intake. And a lot of times this is because I think the majority of the time when women come to me is they just need someone to talk to. I mean, that's really what it comes down to is they just simply need that sounding board. But after a while, after a while, for myself, I start questioning myself as a professional, saying, am I doing enough to help this woman overcome this depression? And deep in my bones, the answer is no. Talking is not enough. So I want you to ask yourself, are you struggling with depression or sadness? And again, like I mentioned earlier, there are assessments online that you can find. Um, in fact, if you go to mdcalc.com, so mdkelc.com, you can search up taking the Hamilton depression rating scale, the PHQ 9, the GAD seven. These are all kinds of different um assessments that will help you determine, hey, am I really depressed or am I really anxious? Excuse me. So the thing is when you figure out, okay, am I depressed or am I anxious? Then it's time to have action behind it. There's a time and a place for talking. And I never tell my clients, you can't talk to me. But I believe that for you to overcome, to get to the closest possible point of being cured, you have to take action. Now, when it comes to depression, um, there's a lot of different techniques for depression. Number one, I tell every one of my clients, if you want to overcome this depression, you have to do homework in between sessions. I just tell them, you have to do it. And if you're not willing to do it, you're not going to see the success that you want. Um, and the the success that I want you to have. I don't want my clients to be reliant on me for the rest of their lives. I don't. I want them to live free and I want them to be unburdened. I don't want them to always feel like, oh, I have to go talk to Piper and I just I'll talk to her for an hour and there's no change. I don't want that for her. So one of the techniques that um I use with my clients is that when it comes to depression, is we have to start acting toward changing it, right? But so many times with depression, what happens is that, you know, people tend to do less when they're depressed, right? So there's less opportunities to feel pleasure or to seek achievement or even to connect with others. In fact, the things that they need to feel better, they're depressed and they don't go do them because they fall into inactivity. How many times have you sat there and said, I just I have to do this, but okay, I'm not going to? And you just keep doing this cycle of inactivity that leads to depression. The depression leads to inactivity, and then inactivity leads to depression. It's this trap, this vicious cycle of depression. So, not enough of the right activities feeds depression. Does that make sense? So, inactivity feeds depression. And what I love to talk to my clients about is something called behavioral activation. And this is a way for us to help them, you know, create meaning and pleasure in their lives again. So, here are some of the steps. The first step is you have to learn about this cycle of inactivity and depression that you're in. So many times what happens with this is that I will talk to them about what's taking place, what's this trap of depression? Usually it starts with you feeling pretty low and you slow down, and you slow down and you become less active, right? And then things in your life, these tasks seem like they're so much harder to do. And then all of a sudden you start blaming yourself, and that blame leads you to being even less active. And that less activity, again, leads to depression. So when you're depressed, it feels like you just you can't do anything right. And your motivation isn't there. In fact, it's working in the reverse. Normally, you would think that you need to wait to feel motivated, that some sort of activity or whatever is going to make you feel good and you're getting out of depression. But when you're depressed, you lack motivation. It fails to come on automatically. So we have to get active before we feel the motivation that comes along. So when we achieve well-being, it means we're doing more, we're feeling more motivated, we're feeling a little bit better. We start doing things anyway, and we just keep working. But if we don't do that, we fall back down into not feeling like doing anything or no motivation in depression. So the quickest way out of depression is to increase our level of activity, even if my clients don't feel like it. And believe me, when I bring this up to them, they kind of roll their eyes at me like Piper, seriously. I have enough on my plate. I'm barely balancing raising my children, going to work. I just I can't do one more thing. But the whole point of behavior activation is it is a treatment for depression. There's tons of research that backs it up. And yes, it's part of CBT. But what it does is it helps you break free little by little. So when you first start this process, if you were working with me, I'd say, okay, we got to start logging what's going on. We got to start doing a daily diary, a weekly diary, so that we understand, you know, what activities you're taking place in and what are your moods during these different activities. And listen, this can be super mundane and tedious. Um, I suggested this to a client the other day in a session, and she was just like, oh my gosh, every single thing that I do during the day for the next week, I need a log. I'm like, yep, you got to. And what I loved about her response is she was very honest with me, like, this is crazy, this is too much to do. But then she said, but I have to do something different. Just talking is not working. And it was such a huge moment for her because we worked on and off for the last couple of years and to hear her say, I've been doing it my way and now I'm ready to do it your way. And it was just wonderful to hear from her. So, what you would do with me is you'd do an activity log, and basically you're gonna be rating how you felt during an activity during the day on a scale of like one to 10 or even zero to 10. Zero is I feel awful, this is miserable, and 10 is I'm elated, I'm so excited, life is wonderful. So you log things, mundane things. How did you, you know, when you got up to um get ready for work to work in the morning on a scale of zero to 10? How did how did you feel? You know, um, how did you feel on your drive to work? How did you feel on your drive to take the kids to school? How did you feel when you're home alone in the empty house? Um, what did you feel like um after you were sleeping or when you were laying in bed flipping through Facebook? I want you to log all of those things. So why do I want you to do that? Well, the biggest thing is the first point in anybody that's dealing with depression, anxiety, whatever it is, is we have to create mindfulness around what's going on. And this is the surest way to do this. You know, it's no different than if you've done a diet program and they tell you to do a food log. It's not about shaming you, hopefully, with if you have the right coach. It's not about shaming you, but it's about that mindfulness over what you're eating and what you're doing to take care of your body. So this is simply an exercise to create mindfulness about your activities and how they make you feel. And then what happens is the client and I go through this and we kind of look at, you know, what are some of the activities that you feel best doing, where your mood was the best, and what are some of the activities that you had the worst mood? What were those? And then we talk about um, what are some things that make you feel most connected to people? Because research, excuse me, research shows us human connection is amazing for overcoming depression, even if you don't feel like being around them. Then we talk about activities that give achievement, sense of achievement, or feelings of pleasure, and um, you know, what you notice about the relationship between your moods and how you are active or what you were doing. So it's really about being an investigator and investigating what in the heck is going on. So this is behavior activation. You have to start with mindfulness. You have to before we even start any of the other stuff. Then eventually we start talking about their values, what do they value the most in their life, and how they can move towards those values? And then eventually we are going to start talking about um activities. What activities do you love to do? What are they? And listen, it doesn't have to be this enormous activity that you have to plan. Like I have to go pay money to get my nails done every week. Absolutely not. It could be activities like I love spending time with my animals, I enjoy cooking, um, I enjoy spending 20 minutes outside in the sun. Those are those are activities. And many times I give my clients an activities menu to choose from things because I think sometimes we feel like we have to have this like ginormous thing that we have to do. So eventually what happens is we start scheduling those activities. That's the behavior activation. So we've done the investigation, we found out what activities give you pleasure, we found out the activities that don't that are leading to continued depression. We talked about how you're going to express your values in your life and how we're going to include those in the activities that you're going to engage in. And then we have to schedule our activities, even though we might not want to do it. Because the whole point, remember, with depression is that it's the inactivity that leads to depression. And the depression leads to inactivity. It's this ugly cycle. So we've got to break it. So we talk about planning activities, and we also talk about what are some of the obstacles that are going to be in your way. What are some of those obstacles and being aware of that? And what are your strengths? What can you draw on? Not just your values, but what are your strengths that you can draw on to move through these activities? So I have my clients log those activities. And this doesn't sound like a whole heck of a lot, but behavior activation is the first step. It really is one of the first steps. And there's many other different ways and approaches to working with depressed clients. But I believe behavior activation is one of those first stepping stones that can really make an enormous difference in your mindset. So if you have questions about behavior activation, send me an email. Send me a message at piper at piperhairs.net. We can talk about that. But again, remember that what you're feeling, the inactivity, and then you feel depressed, and then you feel depressed because you're inactive, you're stuck in an ugly cycle. You're stuck. But you can break free by the simple technique of behavior activation. And all that means is you're gonna investigate, you're gonna find those things that lift you up, your values and your strengths, and then you're gonna activate. You're gonna activate a new behavior that's gonna break you free from that cycle of depression. That's all behavior activation is super simple. Super simple. So there's four levels learning about the vicious cycle of inactivity and depression. The second one is you're monitoring your activity. The third is we're talking about values, goals, and strengths, and then you plan to get active. It's tough. I know. I I work with my clients and um they are hurting, they're hurting, and depression just feels like this albatross, you know, this this thing that is just weighing you down. But I can tell you that if you're willing to step away from just talking about it and act toward something different, it will change. It will change. And this is just one of the techniques that I use with my clients. There's many, many, many other ones, but it can work for you. And I want you to hear this: you are not alone in your struggle. So many of us suffer with depression, so many of us suffer with anxiety. But there are techniques that are sound that will make a difference in your life. They're reliable, they're valid, they're research-driven, they won't hurt you. You know, um, professionals have been using especially CBT techniques forever, and it's proven over and over and over again to help individuals just like you. I know it can be daunting and scary to step into asking someone for help. I get it. 100%. I've been there. Believe me, I don't just talk to you during these podcasts or talk to my clients from a place of I don't know what's going on. In fact, it was really interesting. I was having a conversation um during my practicum, and one of the women in my cohort said, I've never been to therapy. And I was shocked. And I asked her, I said, then how are you going to be a therapist? How are you going to accurately um step into the shoes, or how are you going to empathetically, excuse me, step into the shoes of your client if you've never been to therapy, if you've never experienced this? And you know it's really fascinating to me. I have met so many people, so many people that want to be therapists, but that have never discovered therapy or gone into therapy on their own. And I think, I really do think it is a necessity for anyone to go into this field. Because we got to know what it feels like to go to someone that we don't know, that we don't know and spill our guts out. The anxiety of speaking to a stranger and trusting them with your secrets, come on. It's scary. I know. And then that constant fear of am I saying too much? Are they judging what I'm saying? What's going on? I mean, it's it's a really hard time meeting a therapist or a coach like myself and and and just spilling it. And then on top of it, well, what if this doesn't work? What if they actually don't take care of me? What if this? What if that? I mean, if as a professional, I don't understand all those thoughts and those feelings, how the heck am I going to empathetically walk with my clients and let them know I know how you feel? And that's what I want to say to you today. I know how you feel. I know how scary it is to ask somebody for help, especially when you're in the depths of depression. Because just simply calling and asking for help, I mean, that just seems like this enormous task, doesn't it? But I'm telling you, have the courage. Have the courage. Talk to friends. You'd be surprised which one has a therapist. Check out their therapist. Talk to me. If you don't want to work with me, great. I have a huge network of colleagues I will absolutely refer you to because I believe that you can overcome your depression. It's just about finding you the right person to walk along with you in this journey that provides you the right tools. You're not alone in this. But remember, you can either just talk about it, maybe even just think about it, or you can act toward a difference. And behavior activation is just one technique that I use with my clients, with uh, you know, cognitive behavioral therapy techniques. And it's just a fancy way of hey, we're gonna change your behaviors to get you out of that cycle of depression. That's all it is. Super simple, but not easy. And I recognize that. So I hope this was helpful for you today. If you have any questions about how to overcome depression using behavioral activation or any other different CBT techniques, I would love to talk to you. Head on over to piperharris.net if you're looking for any information on me or find me on LinkedIn, whatever it may be. I would love to talk to you. And again, there are tons of resources resources online that you can look at yourself. And particularly if you are interested in finding out how depressed am I or how anxious am I, there's a great website. It's called mdcalc.com, mdcalc.com. And you can type into the search bar depression or anxiety, and there's going to be some assessments that you can take. Now, don't just take an assessment and then leave it there. Remember, the whole point of an assessment is you're investigating, and from that investigation, then you act and you go find someone that can walk you through this. There is no loss of hope here. I know you feel that, but this is simply a tool to help you see what's going on. And somebody like myself will help you find achievement, will help you find pleasure again, and will help you build those connections with individuals that you've been missing out on. I guarantee it. So thanks again, everybody. I wish you the very best, and I will talk to you next time. Hey there. Thank you for joining me today on the Piper Harris Coaching Podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, please be sure to share it on your social media. Share it with your friends and your family. And if something really spurred, stirred something inside of you, send me a message. I'd love to chat with you about how you can find your poema and harness it for healing and vitality in your life. Thanks so much. I appreciate you, and you'll hear from me soon in future episodes.