Hey there, welcome to the Untangled Mind podcast, where smart, successful, and secretly exhausted people come to get unstuck. I'm your host, Piper Harris, therapist, coach, and the one who's going to say exactly what you've been thinking. Why the heck do I feel so burned out when I'm doing everything right? In today's episode, we're asking a bold question. Why coaching? Especially if you're the type who handles everything, shows up for everyone, and still feels mentally tapped out. If therapy didn't hit the spot or you don't think you need it, stick around. We're about to cut through the noise, clarify what coaching really is, and help you figure out if it's a missing piece in your high-achieving life. Let's untangle this. Hey there and welcome. Thank you so much for joining me. So today we're talking about coaching, and you're probably wondering why, as a therapist, talking about coaching. Well, because Untangled Mind is now offering cognitive strength coaching, and I want to talk about some of the differences between coaching and therapy. I have a really unique uh background in this. So, for some of you that you don't know, I actually started uh my psychological training and counseling training way back in 1998. This is where I fell in love with CBT and have really applied it since then. I took a hiatus, I worked in mental health facilities, I worked in crisis units, I was really focused on adolescent treatment when I first started out. And then I took a hiatus. I had babies, did all the things, and during this time I caught the entrepreneurial bug. So I stepped away from the counseling aspect of things and I stepped into being an entrepreneur. And during that time, I discovered coaching. Now, when I did the coaching, my husband kind of rolled his eyes at me, like, really, you're going to do coaching and you've already done counseling. But my reason behind it is I didn't think that I was capable of stepping into the psychological again because when I had started in the field in 1998, I unfortunately hit true burnout, saw some pretty awful things, and I really hadn't done the personal work where I could be effective as a therapist. So I did step away. Um, and what I did with the coaching was really fun. I, when I was an entrepreneur, I really fell in love with physical coaching. So became a NASA NASA certified uh personal trainer. And then from there, I became a certified um behavioral nutritionist. And then from there, I opened a woman's gym. So I was doing coaching on the very physical side of things, but during that time I applied everything CBT. You can watch any of these, you know, uh diet programs that you see on TV and stuff that ours like, yeah, use us and our our our system that goes along with it. It's all based on CBT. So I did the same thing in my entrepreneurial businesses. And then eventually what I did is I started seguing out of the physical realm of things and started stepping into organizational, developmental, organizational development and executive coaching. And what I wanted to do is stand out from people that might just say they're coaches. Um, and so I went and I did coaching school, which was about six months long. And then I went through a process with the International Coaching Federation to become a credentialed coach. I got my ACC. I don't keep it going any longer because then, as you all know, uh 2020 hit, it totally destroyed my coaching business, which was really going awesome. Um, and I went back to school, and that's where I am today. I'm an APC, so associate professional counselor here in Georgia, and I'm awaiting my final license. Um, so for my LPC, I'm right there. I just have a couple more months to go, um, and I'm really thrilled. I've completed my clinical hours, and so it's a really good time for me to step into coaching because I think I want to make that clear that this is not clinical, so I didn't want coaching to be part of anything that I was doing in my residency, um, and I just have to get to my end date, which is August 17th. But who's counting? So let's let's talk about that. That's a little bit about my history and why I have a unique stance on coaching and versus counseling. Now, here's a couple things that I'm seeing. Um, it's all over the place. I see tons of people saying they offer life coaching, attachment coaching, trauma coaching, um, anxiety coaching, all of these things. I see a lot of coaches using very psychologically based words, which concerns me. Um, because one, you cheapen how we use it as clinicians, and two, you give the um idea to individuals that you are trained to handle trauma. Um, it's different that you are sympathetic to people and you you want to love them and help them through trauma. I think that's amazing and we all need that, but that doesn't mean that you are trauma-informed. In fact, I saw a gal the other day that said she was a trauma-informed coach, but she has no clinical background, which really, really, really, really concerned me. Um, so that's some of the issues with the coaching that I see. What I also see is a lot of people on the clinical side were kind of ticked off that the coaches are using these like psychologically laden terms and they lack the training. So it cheapens um all the decades of work and effort and money, let's be honest, that we've invested in being these um individuals in this field. And so there's a lot of frustration there. And I know for myself and I've spoken to some other colleagues that oftentimes we have individuals come to us and say, Well, yeah, I went to a relationship coach and it completely blew up. And when we get into why they came to see us, it's like, well, because this was a develop domestic violence, excuse me, situation. We had massive manipulation going on, maybe some enmeshment, and the coach was so underwater, they had no clue what they're doing that they inevitably caused more harm to the individual because they didn't have the tools. And so those are some of the issues that I'm seeing in the field. The other new one that I'm seeing that's a little concerning is clinicians such as myself offering coaching. I don't have a problem with that part, but the part that I have a problem with is that they're still doing the clinical, they're just calling it coaching. And I don't know if that's just to um make people more comfortable with what you're doing, but I just I don't feel that that's right because coaching is very different. And so to call it coaching, even though it's clinical, I don't know. Now, if they're just doing talk therapy, okay. But if you're using clinically based tools like EMDR, exposure, or anything like that, you have you shouldn't be doing that. They should be called counseling. So let's just talk about this, okay? Let's let's untangle why I've chosen to uh bring cognitive strength coaching to untangled mind in addition to the um the counseling that I give for anxiety, trauma, and grief. So a lot of times um people, you know, there's this myth that people have it all together. You you have certain people in your life, and you maybe you look up to them and you're like, oh, they have it all together. But here's the thing high-functioning individuals, they often get overlooked because they appear successful. So they show up, they meet deadlines, um, they're like the go-to person. But what people don't see is that their brain never shuts off and they're juggling so much that even pausing feels like failure. Now, listen, I see this with counseling and I see this in coaching. But here's the problem. Oftentimes, high-functioning people rarely get support because, well, they're like, well, you look fine, and they don't have clinical levels of distress. And so that's exactly where coaching comes in. So it's not about fixing what might be broken, it's about optimizing what's already working, but it's starting to kind of crack under pressure. So coaching speaks directly to kind of this mental fatigue. So there are differences, like I've just briefly spoken about between therapy and coaching. So again, let's kind of clear up the confusion between those. Therapy is often focused on healing and mental health. So we are looking to the past oftentimes. We're looking at attachment ruptures. We are um we're really trying to discover where the emotional and mental distress today took root in before. Okay. Coaching is future focused, it's action-oriented and it's geared toward performance and clarity. Now, listen, you get that in therapy 100%. You you gain clarity, um, you might perform better, but it is different because we are applying clinical tools while in counseling, whereas in coaching, this is future-focused, action-oriented. So in therapy, you know, you might explore why a pattern exists, whereas in coaching, you design how to break the pattern and move forward. Now, this is kind of that sticky area where individuals need to be very adept in ethical ethics, um, whether you're a counselor doing coaching or a coach going in and stepping way too far into counseling, you need to understand ethically and frankly legally what you're stepping into. You under, you need to understand that that boundary. Um, so patterns exist. We're looking at that in therapy, so we're exploring some of the past. And in coaching, what we're doing is we're designing how to break the pattern. You do that in counseling too, but there's just not the clinical overlay. Um, I'm not making sure that I'm assessing you for suicidal ideation every single time I'm seeing you. I'm not writing clinical notes. Um, I'm not having to do for informed consent as a coaching client. It is hands-on, future focused. Let's knock these things out. So therapy in turn is that internal work, right? Coaching is external strategy. Do you hear that? Therapy is internal work, which eventually goes to external. Coaching is always external strategy. And they both have value, but they're very different tools for and they're very different jobs. Okay. So, yes, some therapists try to coach without training, which is fine because we we have the tools to do coaching. I just think we need to be a little bit more transparent what we're doing. And some coaches, unfortunately, try to therapise without boundaries. And I have trained in both areas, and that absolutely matters. So coaching supports mentally maxed out individuals. So sometimes I see this, particularly in men, is that I have somebody come in and they think they need counseling. And we go through the consultation. I'm like, gosh, this doesn't, I'm not seeing, I'm not hearing anything. I might assess them. Okay, maybe I'm missing something. Do they have any clinical levels of anxiety, depression, that sort of thing? And ultimately, what happens with these individuals is like, this is not a need for counseling. This is someone that is like mentally maxed out. So what I do, especially with men, it might be time management, it might be being able to speak up in the office. Um, it could even be busy moms, like they have a three-year-old that they're trying to help, and they've got an eight-month-year-old that they're a month-old that they're still breastfeeding. And they just need a structured, focused process, not necessarily counseling, where as a CBT clinician, I am structured. I am not a manualized CBT therapist. Um, but when we're in therapy, I might hear something. I'm like, tell me a little bit more about the situation that happened. Um, let's let's kind of pull in some ideas, your relationships, that sort of thing. Whereas when we're in coaching, listen, it's structured and we have a very focused process. I'm not digging into those things because that's not the lane. Okay. So with coaching, it's a way to cut through that noise, right? To reduce decision fatigue and prioritize goals. And it's a space where you can be challenged without being diagnosed or pathologized. Now, I try not to do that with my counseling clients, but diagnoses do inform how I treat you in a clinical setting. So for coaching, you get clarity without maybe those labels, and you get support without being hyper-analyzed. So it's strategy without being stuck. That makes sense. So it's finally getting that roadmap when you've been running on GPS glitches. That's what coaching is. Um, and you know, listen, you don't need to be broken per se to benefit from support. The truth is that you don't have to fall apart to benefit from coaching. When I started working with executives and organizations, they a lot of times actually they there weren't they weren't breaking. They were mentally exhausted and they were being preventative, saying, hey, I've noticed, you know, that my calendar gets out of control, or boy, I have this soft spot for this one um, you know, colleague of mine, but I'm recognizing there's some issues and maybe they had oversight over them. How do I navigate um these conversations, that sort of thing? So they really come to me, they came to me when they weren't falling apart, they weren't in need of clinical help. They were just like, gosh, there's these things that I need to optimize. So coaching, coaching is for people that want to optimize, not necessarily recover. That's a huge difference. It's optimization versus recovery of something, right? We're optimizing what they're currently doing. We're not helping them recover from anxiety, trauma, grief, depression. We're not doing that. We're not helping them recover from attachment traumas. I'm seeing that so much with coaches these days. And I'm like, oh, okay. Do you understand it? Have you studied this? Do you I just it it's difficult when I see that? So in coaching, it's really about refining your thinking, not fixing something. It's refining. Now, CBT is about reframing and refining our thinking, but there's so much more clinically, and you can go visit my website, untangledmind.net, under the about tab, to see my clinical approach. So the CBT is at the very top of my little pyramid. It's very, very top. If I were to make a coaching pyramid, and I guess maybe I need to, it'd be like one little top of the pyramid, you know, refining your thinking. There's not, we're not going into the depths of things that require or that are required clinically. So it's really support for people that already feel strong and it's strategy for people that are already driven, but it's space for those that are really ready to step in and be responsible for more optimization. So you don't have to, when you're in coaching, you don't have to qualify by being in a crisis. Okay. You just want something to change. You just want something to change. And often, again, I see this in counseling where I'm like, you don't need me as a therapist. This is not necessary for therapy. Now, unfortunately, I didn't feel like I could offer coaching the last two years because again, I wanted to get through my clinical hours. Um, but so many people, I was like, gosh, you know, I think that you would really benefit from someone like an executive coach. And I turned them away because I just like, hey, you know, I gotta focus on the clinical. Okay. So um, here's the great thing. There is a wonderful benefit to having a therapy-trained coach. I have an edge. I just do. Not all coaches are created equal. I'm sorry, coaches, if this offends you, but I'm telling you when I was in coaching school, oh my gosh, it um it was very disconcerting. Because keep in mind, I started in counseling, took a hiatus, went to coaching, then back to counseling. So when I was doing coaching school, I had to do uh supervision hours. And oh my gosh, let me tell you, even the supervisor, she was using a psychologically laden terminology and techniques around. I said to her at one point, I'm like, this is unethical for you to utilize this tool. Boy, she tore tore me in another one. She was so angry at me, but I'm like, no, you're wrong. Like, you were absolutely wrong. This is dangerous for you to play with this. Needless to say, I did not enjoy my um coaching supervision experience. But listen, not all coaches are created equal. Coaches, however, with clinical backgrounds, we do have a better understanding of ethics and red flags. Now, the ICF, the International Coaching Federation, they do kind of talk a little bit about boundaries and understanding this, but I'm telling you, most coaches don't go through the ICF. They're like, whatever, I'm gonna slap coach on there and make a ton of money, which is great. Good on them. You know, this is how you make money, but it's it's unethical. It's well, I won't say unethical because they have really no ethics to follow, but it is really dangerous. But as a coach with a clinical background, I do understand boundaries and I do understand the ethics and the laws that I have to follow. And I know red flags. So if I'm in a coaching conversation and someone starts going into a trauma memory, whoop, red flag, we need to stop this and we need to shift this relationship if I am the right counselor for you. Um, one of my um rules, I guess you could say, is that none of my existing clients, past or or current, may come to me for coaching because I have already solidified a clinical relationship with them. So for me to step back is unethical and not okay. And I'd end up hurting their feelings because it's a different approach. However, if I'm with someone in coaching and I recognize, huh, I think they need clinical help with this, then I can step into a clinical role and say, this is what I'm seeing. I'd like to assess you and find out if I'm the right fit for a counselor. If not, we need to end this coaching relationship and find you someone that can really take care of the needs that you have right now, because it is not coaching related. Okay. So what's really great about having someone like me that's a coach that's also therapeutically trained is that I can both provide clarity and depth without stepping into the therapeutic territory. I can do it, especially with CBT. Um, so I don't promise healing from, say, like trauma in a coaching session, but I do recognize when something is deeper than on the surface, and I refer to it appropriately and again refer them out if they need be. Okay. So I have worked with executives, law enforcement, entrepreneurs, everyday high functioners, mothers. Um, and I know how um to challenge without coddling. That's something that I really pride myself in. And I do know how to stay in my lane, and that's why my clients trust me. That's why my clients trust me. So as I spoke before, sometimes therapy is just not the right fit, right? I have people that come in here and they've done therapy and they feel like they just talked it all out, or maybe therapy just didn't quite click. Um, they didn't want to dive into childhood. I've had people talk about that, and they wanted a plan. And that is really where coaching comes in. So you may, you, you don't unpack trauma, right? They need strategy, clarity, and execution. That's what they're looking for. So coaching fills the gaps between insight and action. Okay. Coaching fills the gaps between insight and action. So a lot of people will come in and say, well, counseling didn't work. And I get to the bottom of it. I'm like, you don't need counseling. This is not what you need. You know, I think people think as counselors, we have like this magical wand and we can fix everything. Gosh, I wish I had one. Um, but we're not. And so I think we, you know, as clinicians, we have to really be able to listen and be like, gosh, this is not in my lane. I think you do really great with this coach that I have a relationship with. So develop those relationships with coaches too, because they do fill um a need. And then conversely, those coaches, if you're working really well with them, then they refer to you because you're like, whoop, going too far in this, don't feel comfortable with this, right? So um it's really important that um we recognize sometimes counseling is not the thing, and we have someone to refer to, and vice versa. Okay. So a lot of times what I want to talk about is executives or anybody in business really um just high functioning, busy adults, um, they they have this kind of personal stagnation that goes unnoticed. They really do. So a lot of high achievers are praised for pushing through, and they're always rewarded for like being on time or getting everything done, but there is a cost and they start losing themselves and um they stop reassessing. They kind of just go on autopilot. And these are the ideal individuals for coaching because it gives them permission to pause and ask, you know, like, what am I even aiming for anymore? Like, what am I doing? Is this value-based or am I just on autopilot? Do I love what I'm doing? Like, what am I doing here? Um, and those are those are the individuals that I think really have um, you know, great um success with coaching. I think they really do. I worked with a gal for about a year. She was transitioning um career from nurse in a hospital to traveling nurse, and we did a whole um year of strategy of like, what's this scenario work look like? What does this scenario work look like? And we worked on resumes, we worked on, I mean, all of it. Um and ultimately she did transition, but it was a big deal. But she needed someone to help her kind of walk through those steps that wasn't emotional. Invested like her friends and family. Okay. So this is what my coaching clients will walk away with. This is what they're going to walk away with and what they gain from coaching with me. They gain improved decision making, increased productivity, stronger boundaries, they do, uh, greater confidence, freedom from burnout cycles, and a renewed sense of control and clarity. That's what coaching brings. So oftentimes clients will say something like, Um, I didn't really realize how much I needed this until I started. That's coaching. Now listen, we hear that with counseling too, but it's not about hype, it's not about this deep traumatic memories or working in the past. It's about traction. It's about optimization of who they are today to help them move forward. That's the differences. So hopefully this has made it really clear to you the differences between coaching and counseling. I hope you understand why I've brought this into Untingled Mind. I think that I can provide tools to both individuals that need coaching and individuals that need counseling, and I recognize the differences. Uh, you can learn more about this on untingledmind.net slash coaching, and you can read about what's what's involved with coaching. This is a quick rundown. 45 minute sessions. I'm not taking clinical notes. I'm not assessing you, I'm not doing any of those things. I don't, I might have work pages for you, but I don't have like I've um developed two different clinically based workbooks for clients. I don't have that for my coaching clients. Now I did previously publish some um and I unpublished them. Maybe I'll put them back on. Uh, you can see an interview that I did for Good Day Alabama where we talked about this. Um, but I do have the tools where I know, hey, we're gonna talk about this in coaching, we're not gonna talk about this in coaching. And the great thing is that if you're based in Georgia and I recognize you have a need beyond coaching, I would refer you to me. And if I'm not a good fit, then I'm gonna find you somebody, somebody else. And if I need to find you somebody else in a different state, I'm going to do that. I do recognize um there could be potentially some gray area with both of these, but I work really hard to recognize again um those boundaries and those kind of red flags where I'm like, okay, this is not coaching anymore. So keep in mind, keep in mind, coaching is about optimization of who you are today. Counseling is about developing a new person with being free of trauma, anxiety, and grief. Okay. So ask yourself, is coaching right for you? Is it right for you? Ask yourself, are you mentally sharp but emotionally tired? Okay. Are you emotionally sharp and mentally tired? Do you need direction more than emotional digging? Does that make sense? And do you want structured sessions that lead to measurable change? Now listen, this sounds a lot like my counseling because I believe in data. I believe in measurable change, all of those things, but again, there is a difference. There is a difference. It's going to be a different kind of piper as your coach is compared to your piper counselor. Again, I'm not assessing you for suicidal ideation. I might hear it and then I'll refer out, but it's it's very different. So again, if if you can answer yes to any of those things, coaching might be the exact step you need to take next. It might be. So if you're mentally sharp and you're just kind of worn out, and if you're tired of therapy um, or you just really need strategy now, or maybe you're just ready to stop spinning your wheels and start moving with purpose, coaching might be the right next move. And I'd love to work with you one-on-one through my structured programs. So go ahead on over to untangledmind.net slash coaching to learn more. And hey, maybe you need counseling too. Check it out. I have all the information, including my fees, including my fees. I don't hide anything so you can get to know me a little bit more. So thank you so much and for tuning in. Make sure you subscribe, share, and keep untangling. You're not alone, but you are in charge. Take care.

Thanks for listening to the Untangled Mind podcast. I'm Piper Harris, licensed therapist, coach, and your partner in Clarity and Change. If you found this episode helpful, please take a moment to rate, review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Your support helps others find the show and fuels the conversations that matter most. Until next time, keep showing up, keep untangling, and keep moving forward.